the blue ribbon

someone sent me the blue ribbon. it made my day. it reminded me i am still somebody to someone at least. it made me think i am still important. that i would be thought of sometimes at least.

pass your ribbon to someone who deserves it. make someone happy. i am sure u will feel good too.

because you love me.

i was scanning on u-tube and saw this song. it brought back lots of things into my mind.

Celine Dion looked really into it when she sang. it's like she sang with her heart, and her look n eyes were like telling u she was really loved by someone. tat she was singing because there's someone for her to sing for.

because u love me. such a song for people in love. no, to be exact, people who just fall in love. when it first starts, everything is a lump of sugar. every word is like a jar of honey. every move is like a bouquet of roses. every minute apart is the emptiest moment u live just to wait for the next minute to b together. u feel like u r what u are because u are drowned in love. like what our handsome Jerry McGuire said to his gal, "u complete me". so sweet it melts your heart.

she sang with such emotion that i could feel the love. was she loved actually?

n i wonder would she sing with the same kind of passion when she had the biggest disappointment in the person who loved her so much, once upon a time.

such a song with such touching lyrics. it is definitely the best choice of song to b played when your relationship is blossoming. u feel that the song is just the perfect-fit piece of summary of yr love. "i was blessed because i was loved by you". how sweet. i am sure every single soul worships this song writer for putting such amazing romance into words. into such beautiful music.

what happens when time has its charge? when the person who loved u so much doesnt anymore? or not that much anymore? will u still like the song? or will you resent listening to that song again because it reminds u that u WERE loved, just that u AREN'T now, because it is whispering to you that it is a sweet memory but also the bitterness source now.


for all the time you stood by me.
won't u spend more time with me?
for all the truth that u made me see.
why do u lie?
for all the joy u brought to my life.
why do u always make me cry?
for all the wrongs that u made right.
why is everything my fault?
for every dream u made come true.
why don't u care about what i want?
for all the love i found in u.
do you still love me?
i'll b forever thankful baby.
i am so disappointed in u.
you're the one who held me up, never let me fall.
do you even care what's bothering me?
you're the one who saw me through, through it all.
why wont u understand me?
you were my strength when i was weak.
where are u when i need u the most?
you were my voice when i couldn't speak.
we are only silent or fighting.
you were my eyes when i couldn't see.
you are not even looking at me now.
you saw the best there was in me.
am i still the one for u?
lifted me up when i couldn't reach.
i m left all alone.
u gave me faith cause u believed.
it is hard to trust anymore.

i am everything i am, because you love me.
things changed. you just don't love me anymore...





the song is itself a sweet song, just that maybe it is not for u; it is just like Valentine's day, it will just remind the single-souls that they are alone when other people are celebrating their love, when cards and flowers and chocolate are sent to other houses, when a lot of another-halves are singing "because u love me" to their partners.

u may not feel the joy just yet, but someday it may come. even if it doesn't, u still deserve the love, at least from yourself.

may u find your McGuire someday.

R-themed party; Robin's party!

dis was like one of the coolest birthday party ever.



since it was for Robin, he decided the party should b themed R. wadever started with R.



on arrival, there were lots of R-related guests walking around. n the birthday boy, was dressed as the superhero Robin.

sexy Rabbit.

seductive Rock chick.

somone came in with Roller skates. how cool.


the cutest Robber on earth =)



the Roman ruled!



Robin came to rescue. back off Romans!



happily flying with hero Robin.

and the highlight of the party was the pinata. it is a mexican culture during occasion to smash the pinata and get the sweets in there.





Fiona was blindfolded and started to smash like crazy! everyone was running for their lives.




















then it was my turn! Robin was whispering to me " ai ling u only get one swing ok" but i didnt care. smashed realli happily keke.

Robin's turn! smash smash smash!!!!!! i was laughin my ass off. i love pinata!



















robin's smashing! so so hilarious.






sweets finally!!!!




cake n song moment. happy birthday Robin!

such a cool blue police birthday cake.

R-party. Real Rock stuff. happy 21st birthday Robin!

ChAp GoR Meh

ok so the dentists wanted to do somtin for chap gor meh. n so we did. in rach's place. cooking again.









n it was like a really really authentic chinese dinner. it made u salivate so so much. it made u get your bowl n chopsticks ready before u were allowed to touch the food. at least i got mine ready like realli realli early.

long-awaited eating-time!!!!!!!

'tang yuen' time! so sweet n nice. chinese are realli food experts.

n we gave farah a birthday surprise! big gal now farah 23!

a huge warm hug for thx =) " thank you so so much thank you ai ling!"

blessings for the birthday gal. youth is so beautiful. dentists family.

a day of happiness. warmth and laughters. hours of bonding wakaka rach!

Princess.

i believe in karma. i really do. i believe if u hurt someone, even accidentally, u will be hurt in the end too. it is just a matter of time. i believe that one day u may be loved like a princess, cuddled like a baby; but as time slips through, all these may disappear and u may be left in despair, hankering for what u were once given, wondering why things change and attempting to unchange the change.

all too often, when u try, the harder u push, the uglier things go. n it makes u look silly and childish n inconsiderate. all of a sudden, u are nothing like an adorable princess, u are just a spoiled brat with great level of sensitivities and low degree of tolerance. u may even be told that things change because u change. at times u will hate yourself for caring too much. if u dont give a damn, it wont even tickle a bit of your emotion. it wont b that hard on your part.

maybe it is just better to believe change is inevitable. maybe it is wiser if u take change easy. otherwise, what else can u do when u cant fight this natural process of life?

who doesnt want to be a princess? n if u were ever one once, it is tough to leave the palace, it will scratch your heart to put away the nice dresses and flowery bed and undivided attention. whatever it is, even if u were promised again n again that u would be loved forever, that u would be protected by angels; change persists. new princess may replace u. u may still have the princess title, but u may have to bear with the sharing of care and pampering.

and the tears of princess may flow. maybe no one cares anymore. but it may flow, till it stops. till the princess forgets she was once a princess.

LOSS.

loss is painful.

the pain of losing someone u love is excruciating. it is the pain u will not be able to describe at all. the pain no one else can understand. the pain not a little bit at all relieved by people saying 'i am so sorry'. the pain so intense u cant even shed away a gram of it with tears. the pain that is so chronic that it will always be there; it may be away for some time, but it will always come back.

so, u cry, u grieve, u think u lose the world, for the one u lose was ever the most important thing in your whole entire world before. and suddenly, gone.

however, time helps. soon enough, u will realize your tears only reminds u more of your loss. u will decide u cant go on with life all the time with your dehydrated eyes, your hurt heart, your soulless body.

time may not wipe away the loss, but it helps to heal the cut into a scar. maybe the cut is deep, maybe it is so huge that it will take a while for the granulation tissues to be replaced by the firm tough scar tissues; but scar will form eventually. the limiting factor is just u; if u are always clinging on to the loss, maybe time is not a universal remedy. if u don let go, maybe the cut will just proceed into such a chronic stage, where the healing and inflammation fight each other. and if u continue to give in to your grief, infection may take place, and it may spread and gives u septicemia.

so, learn to accept. loss is painful, but it reminds u to treasure what u still have around u. it reminds u that life is short. it reminds u that what u do when the person is around is far more important than tearing after the person is gone.

so, learn to grow up. there are things beyond our control. there are things, horrible things we wish will never happen at all; but they just will. learn to realize that tears may be a temporary painkiller, but it has the risk of addiction. learn to increase your pain threshold instead of abusing your supply of painkillers.

u may cry. just remember to pick yourself up afterwards. i believe that this pain, no one can help u in any way unless u manage it yourself.

the scar may remind u of your loss. it will always be there. it just doesnt matter anymore. u healed. u have fought the fear of loss.

and the person u love will always be in a part of your heart. and the person will be happy too if he ever knows u are living well, happily for yourself, and for the people u love.

woohooo. good ending to my week.

yay. today was assigned to oral surgery clinic instead of consult. soooooooooo exciting!

n the most exciting part is---- ai ling extracted a lower right second molar herself!!!! managed to remove the molar with Coupland 1, 2 and 3. no forceps. reading a textbook is just nothing like doing it on a real patient. god, now i figure out the physics of levering in using the elevators. they realli do work so well!!

well, the patient was happy with the whole thing. the tutor, Gormally decided to refer him to the X-ray department because there were lots of other grossly carious teeth present. n guess what, the patient came back afterwards for review and he was given a treatment plan to have a total of 8 teeth extracted in the next appointment.

so the moral of the story--- take care of yr teeth. otherwise, u still have another option to opt for, cause i am kinda in love with extracting teeth now. maybe a discount for you next time too.