handsome.

my bro. we used to call him alan mao. or mao mao. i just think mr lim is so handsome. tall tanned and cool. a product of my genes. of cos it is a great product LOL

pangkor.

a 2-day-1-nite trip to pangkor island.

it was REAL ovenly hot. i felt like i was baking myself under the sun.

the island wasnt huge, the 6 of us squeezed into a rented iswara and went around the island.

ate a lot of sotong.

a short trip to a simple island, but some great time with the LIMs, a shame lim ai li couldnt make it!

阿嬤的話 ah ma eh ui

few days bac, one of my many estranged aunties came over for a brief visit, well actualli for a quick shower as the water supply in her area had been cut off for some reason.

she told us my grandma (ah ma) fell down from a chair a couple of days ago.

i have never been close to ah ma. we never realli talked and seldom meet each other. however, everytime i come back for summer holidays, my mom would ask me to at least visit her once. i have to say, im not a very good granddaughter-- i will only visit her once.

ah ma has not been on her feet for 6 years. everyday, she will be placed on a resting chair in the living room where she stares into the space for hours, and has no one to talk to. at night, when people are back from work and school, they will change her diapers, give her a shower and put her to sleep.

each time i see ah ma, she wil tel me, if i dont tel her who i am, she can never tel. no surprise realli, like i said, we were never close.

each time we start talking, ah ma's words are almost unstoppable. u can tel she is so lonely and desperate for somone to talk to. ah ma will usually start from asking me hows my life in england, then go on telling me about her grandchildren in the house like how many As they scored, how many are going to be doctors and how many are this and that. later, ah ma will start explaing her life, her empty life. she will tel me, each second she spends now seems like a whole long year, there are so many things she wants to do but cant possibly do anymore. then, later, ah ma wil start realating stories about her past, she would tel me about a dozen of people whom i have no idea about such as ah-cai-sou (the lady that sells vege) who cursed her husband.

i would listen and always give a smile and a nod. i know all she needs is just somone there to listen to her. however, many time i hav to try so hard to fight my physiological response after a few hours of ah-ma-stories. i hav to try to hide my yawning and sleepy face and squeeze every tiny bit of energy left in me to put up a i-am-very-interested face.

my mom would give som money to ah ma before we leave. looking at this, im worried that one day, the lady lying in the bed would be my mom, and i would be the daughter who can only offer some money and a little bit of time to her when she is tat lonely. i hope tat day wil not come too soon.

mama, i wish u a long healthy happy life.

bye bye.

tonight my buddy beetee koay left the UK for good.

i have to say. its so depressing to have a fren less. a fren of so many things-- a wonderful audience. a good banker. an amazing mango provider. a reliable tour guide. a walking alarm clock. a starbucks and taiwu and movie sponsor. a free-of-charge-and-always-ready camera man. a laksa companion. a trustworthy fren. a rare fren from the same kampung whom i can share the same jokes with and speak hokkien very loudly to.

eventho u always always tease me, emphasising my imperfections and overlooking all my near-to-perfection sides, u r still a very very good fren koay beetee.

thank u for all ur help in this foreign land. the many stupid jokes which i laughed till i cried, realli brightened up days.

i wish u a wonderful life. please get very very rich!!!!

a hospital full of love.

despite the usual drama in the dental hospital, at times it is filled with warmth and love.

thank u dr ali for your very patient teaching, very thorough patient management and very wonderful guidance. for making every thursday clinic exciting.

thank u paul for making the most amazing metal framework for my first case. it clicked right in. it was a piece of beautiful work. thank u for making it in just a week eventho u had such a crazy busy schedule.

thank u sarah for being so kind, for making the effort to add the acrylic tooth on the metal framework in a mere 10 minutes just to ensure the perfect aesthetics and patient satisfaction.

thank u latifa, for being such a helpful and lovely practice manager. it makes me look more forward to my job.

thank u dr bagasi, for being willing to support me during this stressful time.

thank u. i am so blessed to have wonderful ppl like you guys in my life.

i need to meditate.

i need to meditate.

to relieve my depression of being so extremely broke.

to tame my very very short temper.

to calm my anxiety for the coming exams.

a good day.

6th of april. a good day indeed. the day started off with a very pleasant call carrying a wonderful news. its a happy day.

just tat the happiness was masked by uncertainties offered by the future.

anyhow, i know my dream, and i worked my way to it, and tat is wad that matters. at least i know, it could really happen.